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One of the biggest and most costly mistakes in our young marriage was to believe the fallacy that Sex is not that important. In fact, someone even told us that once you get married then you will see that sex is not all that. Also, that there is much more to a marriage than sex. And in our naivety we believed it as truth, it became ‘our’ truth and it almost cost us our marriage.

So, this blog is just to set this record straight. For those in marriage and those waiting in the wings, sex is the lifeblood of any marriage. It is the heart beat of a marriage. Sex is not just a by the way, it is ONLY the way to a happy & fulfilling marriage. That is why you wait your entire life to get married, the purpose of it is the union of two souls into one, and this is what is called consummation. A sexless marriage is a dead marriage. Sex is VERY important friends, maybe even the most important aspect of any marriage. Allow me to break it down!

Hear what the Apostle Paul advises married couples

The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 
(1st Corinthians 7:3-5)

Basically, Paul is advising the married couples to have copious amounts of sex. Everyday, and twice on Sundays (hehehehehe). He says that the only time you should refrain from sex is when both of you are in consensual prayer and it should not be for long periods and the reason he gave blew my mind!

Daily Sex Keeps the Devil at Bay

In the formative months of our marriage, the hustle and bustle of daily city living took its toll on our sex life. We got so busy making a living, that making love took a backseat. We started skipping days & weeks without getting intimate. What we did not realise then, was that we were opening up our marriage to the attacks of the devil. Gathoni & I were basically holding the door of our marriage open to the devil and all his dark angels. So, by and by, issues, struggles, difficulties & addictions started finding their way to our young home. We just assumed it was normal couple drama, everyone mentioned how crazy their 1st years in marriage were. So we assumed this was all part of the marriage school of character development.

Apostle Paul, in his brilliant text on marriage, reiterates the importance of frequent and healthy sex amongst a married couple. He gives us the perfect prescription, Sex everyday keeps the devil at bay. Sex in a healthy marriage should only come second to your relationship with Christ. Everything starts and ends in your marital bed. The cobwebs in your bedroom will soon start showing up in; your finances, your relationship with your in-laws, your struggles with purity, and also in your professional life. Once you let your sex life slide, be ready for hell & hell’s angel to break lose in your home.

Why Single Folk are Getting it More than Married Folk

Someone posted one day on the social streets that the most loneliest people in the globe are married folk. In fact, married folk are the ones having the least sex in the globe, despite having the legal licence to do so. That is why so many marriages are breaking in our day, the silence in the bedroom some how always ends up in the divorce courts or on social media. The devil’s strategy is absolutely brilliant. He only has to keep married folk busy securing their (money) bag that they have no time or strength left to get busy in the sheets. Money has become the new opium, we are always chasing the next high, hoping that buying a bigger car will fulfil us. If the devil can kill your sex life, its only a matter of time before he takes your marriage too.

On the other hand, single folk & adulterers are having the time of their lives. We are at an all time high in the sex streets, the problem is that it all stops when a married couple hop into their bed. Unfortunately, it’s not all fun and play, sex is a consuming flame, outside the boundaries of marriage, then it will consume those engaging it and will not relent until it lands them to an early grave. That is why the bible advocates for sex to be confined to the marital bed. In the end, the abundant sex outside marriage and the lack of it inside it, are all highways leading to the bottomless pit of destruction.

Make it the No.1 Priority in Your Marriage

Sex is one of the best gifts that God gave humanity. It is the only free gift that a man and woman can absolutely enjoy and find fulfilment and meaning in it. In actual fact, when a couple get to realise the absolute joy they can find in sex, then everything else that you are pursuing will look like rubbish as compared to this newly found joy.

That is why, it is of absolute importance and urgency to make sex the number 1 priority in your marriage. Do not let your kids, pregnancy, work, helps, privacy, head aches, or moods cost you your marriage. Prioritise it! set time EVERYDAY to have sex. Study about ways to spruce up your libidos, experiment with new positions, try new and interesting things together. When away from each other, imagine, dream and fantasise of the things you will do to each other later in the day. Sext do not forget all those *rated* emojis too.

Basically, make the decision today to win back your marriage, and it all starts and ends in your bedroom!

To God Be All Glory

Please share it with someone who needs this


  • Jessy

    Enjoying these reads on marriage

  • Joy kamata

    You should have a marriage retreat for couple, think about it. God is using you to mend marriages through your blogs.

    • Anonymous

      I second you🤙

  • Shiro

    This is very informative I totally agree with you.Marriages are perishing due to lack of knowledge. Well articulated. Keep up.

  • Anita Gesare

    Wow! Such a nice read. Can’t wait to get married to a man who loves and fears God to enjoy this beautiful gift from God and serve my purpose to my generation. All glory to God ❤️

  • Anonymous

    Would you make it sharable? I’m not able to share especially on whatsapp,says the link cant be downloaded..also consifer doing a couples retreat ,you have an amazing insight of marriage do’s and dont’s .God bless you.

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