Marriage

Bringing The Fire Back: Part 2

This is a follow up to part 1 that you can read here. Something very subtle happened in the early months of our marriage. A sneaky little bastard, I may call it, almost wreaked our marriage. Allow me to start with this bible verse from the wisest man who ever walked this earth Catch all […]

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Marriage

Bringing The Fire Back: Part 1

We grew up in a tiny, lovely farm, right on the outskirts of our great city. We had a seasonal stream that flowed at the boundary of our lot. Twice every year, the stream burst its banks, full of rushing, brownish water. We sat by it often, wondering where all this water was rushing to. […]

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Marriage

In Bed With Lust

A few years back, we had the honour of visiting Masinga dam at the border of the Machakos and Embu counties. The dam is humongous to say the least and anyone who has visited it can attest to its intimidating size. As we were marvelling at this man made wonder, our guide pointed to something […]

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Marriage

Selfishness and a Sexless Marriage

It is important to start this off with a disclaimer. This article may rub you off in the wrong way, we wanted to state this on the onset so that you would be open to read this and we pray that it does convict you as it did for us in our marriage. It not […]

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Marriage

The Curious Case of Mismatched Libidos

Just for starters, it is important to reiterate that sex is God made and not man made or porn-made. God invented sex Aside from procreation, God’s intention was that the husband & wife would find pleasure and enjoyment together. Listen to what King Solomon said about sex in Ecc. 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, […]

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Marriage

The One Minute Man

There was a banger of a song, released by Missy Eliot & Timbaland in 2001, going by this title. When it came out then, we all laughed calling it ridiculous, what fool of a man is this who would last a minute in love making. 20 years later, this is the reality in many homes. […]

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Marriage

The Big Bedroom Bully

A bully is basically someone who always wants their own way. It’s always their way or the high way. They use all kinds of schemes and tricks to ensure that they get what they want. Manipulation & mind games are their favourite cards to deal to others. Unfortunately, bullies grow up, get married and end […]

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Marriage

Marriage: Where Libidos Go to Die

I always wondered what happens to the female libido after marriage. Every man I could find complained how much their wive’s lacklustre libido was ruining their sex life. She simply was not interested in getting ‘jiggy’ with it any more. And the few times the husband got lucky, then it was with a lot of […]

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Marriage

Why We Keep Getting F’s in Sex

Growing up, there was no topic more taboo-ish than sex. That song, ‘Let’s talk about Sex’, by Salt-N-Pepa, was so wrong, you knew you were headed straight to hell just thinking about it. I only wish we did, talk about sex, that is. It would have saved a lot of hurt ache to our future […]

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Marriage

When A Man Loves A Woman

“Do, I have to tell you every time that I love you?” , I constantly quipped to my wife, Gathoni. “I have never stopped loving you, and in any case I do, you will be 1st in line to find out”.Such conversations starred frequently in our pillow talk nights at the end of long dreary […]

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Marriage Personal

How I Met Your Mother: Our Story

Gathoni & I grew up a few stone throws away from each other, right on the outskirts of our great city. Both our mums were staunch church moms who happened to belong to the same women group in church. We later learnt that they were good friends too, quite unaware that one day their children […]

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Marriage

As Long As The Bed Shakes, The House Will Remain Stable

One of the biggest and most costly mistakes in our young marriage was to believe the fallacy that Sex is not that important. In fact, someone even told us that once you get married then you will see that sex is not all that. Also, that there is much more to a marriage than sex. […]

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Marriage

Sexual Attraction: Marriage’s 1st Casualty

One fine evening we happened to pay a visit to a lovely middle aged lady who owned a beautiful home nestled in the Nairobi suburbs. Gathoni and I marvelled at the sheer enormity and beauty of her home. Our host, though, was very modest about it. She told us that she had now gotten used […]

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Marriage

God Never Gives You A Finished Product

Two very shy individuals got married on that day. We had had quite the great run with our courtship. It was time we got married, we figured. We could not stay away from each other. The love was too much, it felt like it was just about to consume us. Paul wrote in one of […]

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Marriage Personal

The One That Got Away

I stumbled upon an interesting story in the Bible. One I had never heard before in my many years this side of the African sun. The story is not a real one though, its a parable of sorts. It is found in 1st Kings 20. The story is set in the middle of a battle […]

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Marriage Personal

How To Love Your Wife

If there is one question that I have grappled with my much during our short marriage, is the question on How I am to Love my wife. Many amazing sermons and blogs have been written on this topic to try and explain how a man is meant to love his wife. Interestingly, everyone one has […]

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Marriage

Before You Meet Him

Yesterday’s post was dedicated to the men and their role in marriage, you can read that post here. Today’s post is dedicated to the ladies. This is a VERY important post and I pray that every woman, whether single or married will get to read it and assimilate the principles contained here, in her spirit. […]

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Marriage

Before You Meet Her

My single years were a beautiful mess. By the time I was meeting Gathoni, I was in desperate need of saving. I was at that time living all by myself in a bed-sitter in a locality called Mirema. I worked as a Network Engineer for a local Telco firm and my life was consumed by […]

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Marriage

The Invisible Killer of All Relationships

Every time Gathoni & I fight, one thing is always present, underlying in every argument and conflict. Every time we feel frustrated and get tired of each other, the same thing is always present. The only problem is that none of us can see it. It’s invisible. It’s deadly and its name is PRIDE. The […]

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Marriage

Self Control: The Most Difficult Thing The World

I always felt like living as a Christian was the most boring thing ever!! There were thousands of rules and regulations, you could not do this, you could not do that! I hated it. I wanted to live free. You Only Live Once (YOLO) right? So what was the point of living your whole life […]

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Marriage

Our Long Stay in The Prison of People’s Opinions

For so long Gathoni and I were imprisoned by the imaginary prison of people’s opinions. Before we got married, every couple we met, told us how great marriage was, they all looked so perfect with their matching outfits and well-oiled faces. “Marriage is so amazing“, they all told us. “Our only regret is that we […]

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Marriage

My Indiscipline Almost Cost Us Our Marriage

The last thing I believed about myself was that I was indisciplined. I was a well-mannered boy all through my school years. I never got into any trouble other than those communal punishments, when the class did not feel like smoking out the culprit and instead got punished as the herd. Discipline has always been […]

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Marriage

A Hug A Day Keeps The Affairs Away

Forgive the very cheesy title, please read on and you can judge the book by its contents once done. One thing we have asked God is that He keeps ignorance far from us. God has been lenient with us and He has started to answer our prayers. One of the things that I, (Ben) have […]

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Marriage

The Power Of Focusing on One Woman

Focus is one very strange word. I used to hear it a lot during those motivational talks when the speakers narrated to the audience that the secret to succeeding in any prospect, is simply to focus on it. I never paid much attention to it until the day I married Gathoni. Before we got married, […]

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Marriage

Every Married Person Needs To Read This

Just before Covid hit, Gathoni & I’s marriage was in the Emergency room, trying to get resuscitated back to life. No one had a clue this was happening, and the most interesting thing was that we also did not know. We simply existed. Life was a long & never-ending race, always just a step ahead […]

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Marriage

Vashti Vs Esther: Lessons For The Modern Day Woman

Photo by the incredible Leon Muli Every woman alive needs to read this post today. Whether married or not, this post is for you. If you can master and understand the Biblical principle contained in the lives of these two women, then you will have good success in your relationship(s) with the other gender. In […]

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Marriage

Is Cheating the New Normal?

For the past week, social media has been awash with amorous tales and sexual escapades of married folk. The institution of marriage has taken quite a hit, and the culprit is the ancient enemy: infidelity. The bible tells us that there is nothing new under the sun. Sex was God’s gift to the married couple, […]

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Business Marriage

The Key To My Success Is With My Wife

I remember during the processes leading up to our wedding, some good ol’ ladies from our church gave Gathoni some interesting advice. They told her that to ensure a happy marriage, she only needed to satisfy her husband’s two most primal needs. Food & sex. This is what they said in verbatim “Bwana yako ako […]

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Marriage

The Lust of the Eyes

During our PMCC (Pre-marital counseling Class) our facilitator shared a very interesting story. Before he got married, he never had an issue with other women, his eyes were all for his wife to be. Though once he got married, it’s like the scales fell off his eyes, and for the 1st time, he could see […]

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Marriage

The Role & Purpose of The Woman

During our Ruracio (traditional dowry ceremony), one of Gathoni’s neighbors sat us down and gave us some amazing advice. She told us that when we go for our honeymoon we should talk and agree on our own roles that we are each to play in our marriage. She told us that this was one of […]

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Marriage

When the Love ‘Feeling’ Left

I felt like someone had lit a ‘Nebuchadnezzar’ fire under my feet, every time I saw Gathoni. I could not take my eyes and heart off her. She was exciting, dazzling, enchanting, and mesmerizing all at the same time. I could not believe my luck, I had bagged such a rare & special gift. She […]

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Marriage

Our Unscripted Interview

We had such an amazing time sharing our life journey and our ministry for marriage. This is just part of our broken story and how an imperfect couple is made beautiful by a perfect God See below the interview that aired on NTV hosted by the incredible Grace Msalame To God Be The Glory The […]

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