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A bully is basically someone who always wants their own way. It’s always their way or the high way. They use all kinds of schemes and tricks to ensure that they get what they want. Manipulation & mind games are their favourite cards to deal to others. Unfortunately, bullies grow up, get married and end up in the bedroom, and this is where their selfishness comes home to roost. That bully was me!

I Stole The Show

Interestingly, I would have never imagined myself a bully. I was this quiet, sweet innocent child growing up. I obeyed my parents, listened to my teachers and never lifted a hand against any of my peers. My bull-ish nature reared its ugly head in our marriage, absolutely ruining our sex life. I never realised it then though, but looking back I can see it oh so clearly.

I bullied my wife to get my own way, and that is all I cared about. My Gathoni was just an accessory to get myself what I needed. I never once thought of her own needs, it was all about me, I wrote the show, directed the show and enjoyed the show. That show was our sex life.

Similarly, on the other side of the bed, Gathoni was running her own show too. Sex was all about satisfying our own needs, whether the other party enjoyed it or not, was none of our business. Every man for themselves, we believed, and God for us all. A sad & sorry marriage of two bedroom bullies.

God’s Idea of Sex

God opened up our eyes to our selfishness in our bedroom affairs and we finally understood why our sex life was going to the dogs.

He told us that we were doing it all wrong, and our lack of knowledge was slowly killing us, starting in our bedroom. God led us to this beautiful verses and it formed our new thinking on God’s guide to Great sex

But the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife.... But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.…
(1st Cor 7:33&34)

This my friends, is the secret to great sex between a man & his wife. If I would summarise it, this is what it sounds like. A husband’s ONLY concern in should be how to please his wife, while the wife’s ONLY concern should be how to please her husband. This is the golden rule of all golden rules when it comes to sex.

Great sex is selfless.

Two selfless individuals will reach the zenith and hit the 7th heaven when it comes to sex. What was ruining our sex life was that our only concern was how to satisfy ourselves. Did I come? How did I feel? Was I satisfied? That was what pre-occupied our thoughts, duringand afterour love-makingsessions. But the more we focused on satisfying our own selves, the less satisfied we felt. The orgasms came with no climax, we felt empty, used and unhappy, and so we avoided it all together, imagining that this was what normal sex felt like.

The Husband’s Concern Should Be How To Please His Wife

All the husbands in the world need to read this, internalise it and inscribe it in the tablet of their heart. The man who knows how to please his wife in the bedroom, is a maestro, the GOAT, as we call it. It is an art & a science that takes years of careful study and mastery. No man is born with this skillset, it is an art that is learned, honed and sharpened. There is nothing more complicated than the female anatomy.

Pleasing a woman is no mean feat. The ordinary male has no idea what goes on down there. Less than 1% of men actually know anything about how female sexuality works. And the problem is that no one taught us how. Through this blog God willing we will share and educate each other on how we can become skilled in pleasing our wives. And what a reward it will be when we can give our wives at least 10 toe-curling, sheet-grabbing orgasm in one love making session. Cheiiiii

The Wife’s Concern Should Be How To Please Her Husband

Very few women in the world know how to effictively please a man. Unfortunately, wives fall at the very bottom of this list. The top of the list are the ladies of the night, the side dishes, the clandes etcetera. These women have studied the male anatomy and its sexuality. They know all the erogenous zones and how to keep him coming back and begging for more.

The problem is that most wives imagine that getting such knowledge and skill will cheapen them and make them look like prostitutes before their husbands. That is what Gathoni told me.

I told her that my fantasy was to have a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. I did not want any ‘lady’ in my bed. I wanted a wild woman, one that we could experiment together, one who once in a while initiated the sex, and who came up with new and wild ways of love making.

Unfortunately, no one teaches this to our young girls anymore. You are literally thrust in the deep end and forced to swim with the sharks. No body is born with this skillset and knowledge, it is learned, honed and refined. Just remember this, the woman who is a goddess in the bedroom, who achieves the zenith of the sexual experience is one who knows how to effectively please her husband.

And God willing, as God will enable us, we will share this information on this blog, so that all of us finally can experience God’s intended idea of sex between a husband and his wife.


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  • Kate

    He.. you are on fire with these articles our sexologist!!! And we are here for itttt!!!πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’―πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ”₯πŸ”₯

  • Gracie

    Hee Ben! umetuamulia aje!!! lakini for real this is God inspired…hopefully soon ill rrad bila mashyness mob hehe

    • Muthoni

      Am your number one fun 😜.
      Keep them coming.

  • Katrina

    It’s indeed God’s doing in your life for you to inspire this generation.
    May the Lord continue strengthening and inspiring you to feed the flock.

  • Anonymous

    Well, I am taking notes. When I marry, I hope to seek to make her happy, all round

  • Valerie

    Sex should also be a topic of discussion between couples

  • Ted

    Preach Man Preach

  • Anonymous

    Finally sexx explained from a Godly perspective..preach bratha!!

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