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I remember during the processes leading up to our wedding, some good ol’ ladies from our church gave Gathoni some interesting advice. They told her that to ensure a happy marriage, she only needed to satisfy her husband’s two most primal needs. Food & sex. This is what they said in verbatim “Bwana yako ako na tumbo ngapi?✌……..mbili, ukitaka maisha mazuri, hakikisha tu hizo tumbo mbili zimeshiba!”

This is the ‘solid’ foundation that Gathoni & I built our marriage on πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. We both strongly believed that my two basic needs were food & sex. Later on, we discovered that these women, even though they had the best of intentions, had oversimplified the husband. A man was not an animal. Male animals lived only for sex and food. As this did not seem to work for us, we went back to the bible to see the heart and purpose of the one who created us. We found these two gems in Genesis

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Then the LORD God said, β€œIt is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Genesis 2

Right there we knew, that God’s purpose for the male was WORK!

I was created for the purpose of work, and Gathoni was brought into my life to help me carry out this work (Mission). That meant that my deepest and most primal need was to succeed in the task & work God put me here to do. That is why my thoughts were constantly obsessing about success. I wanted desperately to succeed. I knew right then that God made the male for work, and that food & sex were just secondary needs.

Searching For Success

Unfortunately, success in life seemed to elude me. It seemed like I just could not figure it out. I wanted to escape the rat race, live life on my own terms, but it seemed that I only existed solely for the purpose of paying bills. I felt that I had missed the ‘Success’ train. Everyone around me got the ticket other than me. When we talked it over with Gathoni, we realized that ‘hard work’ was not working for us. We needed a new way to skin this ‘success’ cat.

When Gathoni & I were growing up in our small neighboring villages on the outskirts of Nairobi, we believed that being wealthy & successful was wrong. In fact, we were fashioned to believe that the poorer you were then the holier you became. I cannot remember how many times we had it repeated that the ‘Love of money, is a root of all kinds of evil’. In our young minds, we equated wealth with sin. God did not want us to be successful and in order to serve God effectively then we had to be free of not only the love of money but of money itself. We realized that these misconceptions around wealth & success were our biggest hindrance to living the life that we wanted.

So, as always we realized that our ‘ignorance’ was what was keeping success away. The successful people in this world knew something that we did not know. Interestingly, God led us to Proverbs 31 and we found a very interesting principle

The Proverbs 31 Husband

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12

A lot of people focus on the Proverb 31 wife, but an interesting principle of success was hidden in studying her husband. Allow me to break it down. Proverbs 31 told me that Gathoni, my wife, is worth far more than rubies and that I, her husband lacks nothing of value. The only thing is that I did not view her that way. I thought she was just an ordinary wife, I thoroughly underestimated her value, and that was where I was going wrong.

Think about this analogy. One day, I went and bought a plot of land. Being from the Gikuyu tribe, I then figured that the best use of this land was to plant some maize, sell it and get money. So, I till the land, plant, and wait for the harvest. When harvest finally comes, I go to the village market to sell my produce. Year in, year out, I keep doing this, praying that one day I will get the big break and get rich.

One day though, someone gives me the bright idea that the area where my plot is may have some rare stones. So, I clear out my maize and began to mine & drill for the rare gemstones. I work, toil & labor and finally, I discover the rubies, buried deep in the ground. When I sell this, I become one of the wealthiest men in my village.

The True Worth of A Wife

God told me that Gathoni was like that plot of land. When I married her, I thought that she was only worth a handful of corn. Little did I know, that beside me was wealth beyond my wildest imagination. So, I constantly undervalued her true worth, all the while laboring in vain to find success. God told me that the key to finding my success was in Gathoni, all I needed to do was to drill it and bring it out of her.

It was up to me, through my ‘Work’, to refine her to be the ‘Noble Woman’ I read about in Proverbs 31.

The Finished Product

Interestingly, God never gave man any finished product. He hid the clothes in the sheepskin, the chair in the tree, he hid electricity in water & glass in sand & soda ash. That is why precious stones are found deep in the ground, buried in an ore that needs refining. Proverbs 31 says,

A noble wife who can find?

That means it was up to me to find and refine the NOBLE character I needed in Gathoni, which was worth far more than rubies. She did come with it when I married her, but it was dormant, hidden, buried in the deep. That is why God hid the chair in the tree, it was up to man to cut down the tree & process the timber in order to create one. GOD ONLY PROVIDES THE RAW MATERIAL. So, in order to succeed and find my true success, I had some work to do on Gathoni. That was absolutely up to me. Her worth was buried under layers and layers of soil & rock, all I had to do was do the work of digging it up.


If you have read this blog here. Then you already know what kind of Work God needed me to do. It was the hardest job in the world. The work God showed me was in Proverbs was:

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let LOVE and FAITHFULNESS never leave you; bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart. 

Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Buried inside Gathoni were rare & beautiful gemstones. The ‘work’ I had to do to bring them out of her was LOVE & FAITHFULNESS. The Proverbs 31 woman, who is worth more than rubies and who brings her husband good all the days of her life is a woman deeply loved by her husband. She is also a woman secure in her husband’s faithfulness. She is not worried or doubtful about her husband’s exclusiveness.

The Key To My Success

The reason why success was eluding me all along was that ‘that’ door (leading to my success) was closed. I tried pushing and forcing it open through sheer ‘hard work’ and willpower. Unfortunately, the door did not budge and success eluded me. God told me that I needed a key/principle/law/secret that would open the door to my success. The key was hidden in the word of God (BIBLE). It was a principle that if implemented would result in my sure success.

That is when God led me to Proverbs 31 and told me that the key to my success was with my wife, Gathoni. She had the key and none of us knew about it because of our ignorance. Unfortunately, she could not just hand it over to me. It had to be worked for. It was there deep down in her, buried under layers and layers of covering. The mining work for me was to focus on loving her and being faithful to her. The more I loved, served her, and remained faithful to her, then the deeper it is that I dug. The thing about rare stones is that they are rarely found on the surface. The rarer the stone is then the deeper you have to dig for it. God told me that it was not an overnight excavation. It may take me months, even years. I just had to keep on, doing it faithfully without expectation of recognition or applause, and one day, I would receive my much-awaited reward, SUCCESS!

Glory be to God,

The Kiruthis

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