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Focus is one very strange word. I used to hear it a lot during those motivational talks when the speakers narrated to the audience that the secret to succeeding in any prospect, is simply to focus on it. I never paid much attention to it until the day I married Gathoni. Before we got married, I had very few concerns, my main one being how to make Gathoni happy. I was like a man obsessed, I could not stop thinking about her. She was to me always tired, as she was always running through my mind (Hahahahah, that old tired pick-up line). It took absolutely no effort on my side, the opposite was true though, I had to really focus my attention to stop thinking about her.

She was my world, & I was hers. When we were together, we could hardly take our eyes and hands off each other. And when we were apart, we could not stop texting each other. Life was one big fairytale, we could not believe how lucky we were to find each other. She was my missing rib, and I was her missing body 🙂 we could not wait to be reunited together as one again on the altar.

Our dating life started off in extremely humble conditions. I was then living in a one-roomed bed-sitter in a populous locality known as Mirema. I loved it there. Stuff was happening there, the nightlife was more vibrant than the day life. And not one day would pass without a fighting couple or someone caught cheating on their ‘supposed’ spouse.

Gathoni moved colleges from Murang’a to the CBD and this afforded us more time together, as I was then a network engineer working for a Telco based in the CBD. Every day after work, Gathoni would wait for me and we would head home together, as she lived with her parents not too far off. We used to stop at Mirema first to grab some delicious ‘mutura‘ from our local butcher, before heading to our house. I would then drop my laptop and we would hitch another matatu to escort her home. This was one of the best times in my life, even though we did not have much, we had each other and that was all that we needed. Slowly by slowly our lives began to change, Gathoni got into campus at JKUAT and I started off our photography business. Looking back now, those early years were dreamy and despite all our struggles, they were really beautiful.

Looking back, over the years that we have been married, I have realized that my focus has slowly shifted to other things. My focus has shifted to mostly making a decent living, leaving a lasting legacy, and lastly changing the world. Even though these are pretty noble causes to focus my attention on, I have realized that they have taken the place of my focus on Gathoni. My excuse has always been, this is now our reality. Bills woke me up from my fantasy, demands poured cold water on me & the rat race slapped me right on the face. It felt like when we got married we suddenly joined this very fast marathon.

The marathon to move to a bigger & better house, the marathon to own a car, the marathon to get children, the marathon to build your own home, and the marathon to take your kids to a good school. The marathon is unforgiving, it’s never satisfied, there are always new levels to unlock. There is no space to fail or to just sit home all day, you have to be on your hustle all day and earn your own place in society. The marathon became my focus and all the beauty and dreaminess of life was drained off at an instance.

God told me that I have to go back to my 1st love. And that if I wanted to change the world, I had to go back home and love my wife. My focus had to shift from the marathon, back to my wife. I had to learn to be content, money would never be enough. There was always another mountain to scale once you arrived at the peak of the one you were climbing. “The Mirema days“, was what God was reminding me of. When the only care in the world I had, was for Gathoni. Focus Ben, focus on your wife and everything else I, (God) will take care of.

Focus is basically concentration, the concentration of thought on one thing only. I had to concentrate my mind, heart & thoughts on loving my wife. That was where the battlefield was. The battlefield of my mind. That is the war that I am in right now, I, God, and Gathoni. I asked Gathoni to pray for me every day for God to give me the strength to keep fighting this good fight, because many times, I have no strength to pray even for my own self.

My Daily Prayer

O God, help me, for I am weak, strengthen me like an eagle, carry me when I have no will to walk anymore. Help me to love my wife, as you loved the church, and lay down my life every day for her sake…AMEN

To God Be All Glory

Please share it with someone who needs this


  • Anonymous

    Great piece here man. God bless

  • Snayder

    Wow am inspired since the day I interacted with you in pst pit wedding it’s been an honour to know you and the job you do

  • Evans

    Very educative especially to me for i am in your mirema stage. Thank you so much. May God keep using you for his glory and honour. I also have interest in photography i have been following you online.

  • Anonymous

    Inspiring work!!

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