The wedding was just 6 months away!
It felt like an eternity seeing that we lived separately and saying goodbye every evening seemed like a surgery of two jointed hearts. We couldn’t wait to
walk run down the aisle and be forever joined as husband and wife.
We just couldn’t wait.
Before that though, was the long awaited wedding. Everyone, expected the wedding of their lives. I even opened a Facebook group, called ‘Our Big Kenyan Wedding’ just to get the troops ready.
Noise, pomp, colour and ululations were the adjectives fit to describe this biggest day of our lives. Soon, planning was all we could think and dream about. Being in the wedding industry ourselves, we obsessed over every detail. It had to be perfect, you know, everyone, especially ourselves, was banking on it.
The Storm Before The Storm
All of a sudden, everyone including the security guard, had an opinion on how our wedding should be like. It almost drove us nuts! Everyone knew a ‘guy’ who could do it cheaper and better! We soon realised that we were just pawns in this giant chess game. It was their wedding too, they told us, they had waited too long. It dawned on us that we were just attendees in our own wedding, together with the rest of the guests.
Some wiseacre (so we thought), told us that it was their wedding, but our marriage. Simply put, he was telling us not to put too much attachment on the wedding, but focus our marriage. That is where the real show is, he told us, the wedding was just a trailer.
Though, in our naiveness and excitement, we just heard but never listened. In fact there was so much to get done, that we had no time for such ‘small talk’.
There were little fires to put off everywhere. We simply did not have enough hours in the day to get everything done. We became regular patrons to Dubois, River, & Kirinyaga roads. The back alleys and dingy hallways were where we got the best deals. I developed a newly found respect for anyone planning their own wedding. This was indeed baptism by matrimonial fire.
Our weekly committees added more fuel to the fire. At some point we had lost so much weight, we even wondered if we would ever fit into our wedding attires.
Finally, it happened. It felt like we were having an out of body experience the entire day.
Who were all this people? Why were they all looking at us smiling and waving? And why all of a sudden was everyone was being so nice? It was laughable to say the least.
All in all, in about 10 hours everything was done, all that we had been planning & stressing over for the last one year just lasted 10 hours! It felt like the quickest quickie of all time. In fact, the adrenaline from that last week leading to the wedding, kept me awake that whole night. I couldn’t believe it was all over. Everyone went back to their own life, and we were left to figure out how to start ours.
The above photo depicts exactly what was going through our minds.
What do we do with this marriage? Can’t we form a ‘marriage committee’ this time around to advice us on what to do next? We were just two recruits with no prior ‘experience’ and now society expected us to live happily ever after!
We had focused too much on planning the wedding, that we forgot to prepare for the marriage.
In fact those many ‘advisors’ during the planning process, simply vanished after the closing prayer. I heard that they were giving us ‘space’. All newly weds should be given space, they said, they did not want to ‘interfere’ with the new home.
Now is when it finally hit home. ‘THEIR WEDDING, OUR MARRIAGE’.
We had now to find our own way, through a jungle none of us had been before. It was new country, virgin territory for us both. Marriage was the real show, no acting this time round, it was our own reality show, written and directed by the two of us.
Prepare for the Real Show
Forget the side show, focus on the real thing, bruh.
The real thing is the Marriage that awaits you. That ‘happily ever after‘ is a lie that fairytales came up with to sell more books. The wedding is the dream, marriage is the eye opener. For most of us, the high from the wedding, was soon sobered up by the reality of marriage. So, simply put, prepare for your marriage.
Read books, attend seminars, read blogs, watch videos, but most importantly, read the bible. For in it you will find the true blueprint of how marriage works. In it you will find true counsel and secrets to start creating your own ‘happily ever after’.
Do not believe that bull that love is all you need. Wisdom is what will keep your marriage. Wisdom is basically applied truth. Find the truth and then apply it in your marriage.
So, stop dreaming about that perfect white wedding, and start preparing for that happy marriage. Remember the wonderful wise words of King Solomon
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. (Proverbs 24:3-4)
TO GOD BE ALL GLORY
I am a disciple of Christ, passionate about serving God’s purpose to my generation. I am a husband to Gathoni Kiruthi and together God has blessed us with 3 amazing children