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Unlike any other earthly institution, you graduate in marriage, get the certificate and then attend the class. The only problem with this class is that there is no skipping it. You attend it until the day one of you dies, and then is buried. There exists only one single exit clause, ‘Till death do you part!

So, I felt in my heart to share some of the lessons, I continue to pick along life’s rickety road and some of the things I wish someone had told me before I walked my grown self down the aisle. My only hope is that those waiting in the matrimonial queue will pick a lesson or two while those who we are on this sojourn-of -becoming-one with, will appreciate how similar most of our marriages are.

Today’s lesson is about Seasons.

I have lived 99.99% of my life in the tropics, so, seasons is something I am vaguely familiar with. I just know rainy season and dry season. Growing up, I learnt them as planting season & harvesting season. All in all, we have all experienced changes in weather patterns, whether it is in the 4 seasons of Summer, Fall, Winter & Spring, or just rain, heat & cold.

Today I will attempt to draw a parallel between the seasons of weather and the seasons of marriage.

The Seasons of Life

One of the wisest persons who ever walked this earth was Solomon. In one of my favourite chapters of Ecclesiastes, he shares this truth in Chapter 3:

For everything there is a season,
A time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.

Solomon here alludes that Seasons are not just limited to weather patterns, but that there are seasons for everything. Basically every place or circumstance in life is a season. The interesting thing about seasons is that though they last for a while, they always transit to the next one. Simply put, Seasons change.

As I look back in hindsight over my toddler years, school, uni, work, courtship and finally marriage, I see the very many seasons that I have transitioned through. All through dating, and courtship, what was hammered in my head was the phases of marriage. And, as if they were all reading from the same script, they all started with the honeymoon phase.

So, me in my naiveness and folly, read all I could about the phases, I actually anticipated them and I convinced myself that I was adequately prepared for the roller coaster that awaited us. Let’s just say, on the ground things were very different

Crash Course 101

Our little knowledge on marriage matters evaporated the moment the two of us starting living together under one roof. It felt like we were dating different people from the ones we woke up every morning to. Some days, we were on cloud 9, the next moment we wondering why some grown up could behave worse than a 2 – year old. Things were not working out between us and we did not know why. Where were this 5 year honeymoon phase all those marriage shrinks claimed happened in every marriage? What we did not know, was actually killing us.

We needed a crash course in Marriage 101, and we needed it fast!

That is when we turned to the bible, and realised that that book, had all the answers we could ever ask and therein were solutions and principles hidden in that little book of wonders.

One of this principles is that in life, there will be seasons in every phase of your marriage

The Seasons of Marriage

Whether you are married for 2 years or 62, one of the things you have experienced are changing seasons. Just like life, your marriage will go through seasons of joy, sadness, lack, plenty, conflict and immeasurable happiness. And the thing that I never knew, is that every marriage (without exception) must go though these seasons.

Uknown to me, every time I met a married couple, they were all going through one season or the other. Sometimes, I judged a couple from the season they were in. Some looked so happy and in love, some looked cold and distant. What was happening was not a right or mis-matched couple, it was just couples in different seasons of their marriage.

The interesting thing about weather seasons is that in a year, the seasons change 4 times. You may visit me in Winter and assume that its always cold up in here or visit me in Summer and wonder how do I live in all this joy and sunshine all year round. Folks, those are just seasons, seasons change, and in marriage this seasons may last for 2 weeks or 5 years but never forget this, every season will come to an end.

Don’t Make a Permanent Decision Based on a Temporary Season

This is the take home from this post. One of the dear lessons that God was teaching us. Just imagine, a farmer looking at the above tree during winter and then cutting it down, saying that it is already dead. Forgetting that this is just a season, spring is coming and the tree will bloom again.

For most of us, we judge our marriages based on the season we are in. Sometimes you feel great about your spouse and are in a little heaven here on earth, other times you want to end it all and walk away. Sometimes we even think that our true soul mate is outside there while we are here stuck and growing old with Mr./Miss Wrong.

The truth of the matter is that marrying another person is not the solution, simply because, every marriage, no matter how perfect, will go through the seasons of marriage, just because we all live in the same cold world.

So, hang in there, if you are going through a winter in your marriage, where its cold, distant and moody, just stick it out. It is just a season, and it will surely pass. If you are experiencing financial difficulty and you wonder if there is ever going to be a way out, do not worry, that too is a season and it is going to pass.

Don’t be Envious of Someone’s Summer

Social media has become the opium for the masses. Instagram is the biggest culprit. We have become obsessed with wanting to show a utopia, everyone nowadays seems to be living their best life yet. Do not fall prey to this false facade. Almost everyone in those streets is faking it till they make it, that ain’t their real life!!!

Real life is lived out there, away from that app. And in that real life, everyone is going through a season.

So never be envious of someone else’s summer. You may never know the harsh winters they have had to go through to get there. Remember Solomon told us that to everything there is a season. Apostle Paul also wrote these beautiful words

....for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 
(Phillipians 4:11-13)

Christ can give you the strength to be content in your season of waiting. That is what Paul meant here. Not on our own strength. On His strength alone.

So, if you are in your waiting season, be still in the assurance that every season must change. No season, no matter how good or how trying, is permanent. Everything will change. So hang in there, you never know the lessons God is teaching you while you wait.

TO GOD BE ALL GLORY


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Comments

  • Michael Karuri
    Reply

    We need a part 2

  • Dee
    Reply

    Thanks, very well said and equally timely for me.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    thanks for the read.

  • Wambui Muraguri
    Reply

    I really enjoyed the read, looking forward for more.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    This was a great read.

  • Violet
    Reply

    Thank you. It’s such a good read. I can relate.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Loved it,so much relatable.

  • Tabby
    Reply

    This is so eye opening…I feel afraid of this Covenant but as you Say WITH CHRIST ,it is well.. thanks alot and may God keep blessing and keeping your marriage.! I watched you guyz down that aisle 🤗❤️

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    This is so awesome. Thanks

  • Lucy Muiruri
    Reply

    I’m encouraged. At times going through the seasons may be tough and almost throwing in the towel. But with Christ, all is possible. And in the waiting may God grant us grace.
    Awesome read.

  • ריהוט גן
    Reply

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